“Break me and make me feel alive”


Break me and make me feel alive

A Poem by Coyote Poetry

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Need to find new limits and places. The new dances make the old memories seem less painful.

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                      Break me and make me feel alive
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The warm days of spring came to Germany in 1978.
The city of Boeblingen was alive and well preparing for the Spring celebration.
Live music and a thousand kids drinking and dancing for the cause of the May festival
would make the Gods of life and death content.

I was waiting for the night to come, to be able  drink Jack Daniels and joke with my German comrades. I was 19 years old and free . I didn’t want or need too much. Good friends, some whiskey and some good German beer was all I wanted . A young woman came toward our group. A blue eyes beauty with purpose and reason. She looked me in the eyes and she told me. Let go Johnnie. You won’t escape me tonight and you promise me everything once. I want it now.

I surveyed the long legs, soft blue eyes  and flowing blond hair. My friends told me to go with her. I knew woman seldom lose and there was consequences for every action. She was barefoot and her toes nails painted bright red. Her white summer dress allowed me to see a perfect body in the falling dust sun. Wise men know. Somethings are too beautiful to be held and if you drink of the kiss and fall into the embrace of a dream. Disappointment shall appear.

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We went to a quiet place. She wrapped her legs over my legs and took my hands to her knees. She asked me. Do you remember last week. You won the drinking contest at the tavern and I took you home. You held me so tightly. The beer left you sleepy and talking. You told me I was beautiful and you loved me, than you fell asleep. I caressed her feet and calves and I told her. Drunk man words can be true, but also can be lies. I know love can be a blessing, something worth possessing. Love can flourish and die in the same sentence also. You are too beautiful for me. I have dreamed of you often. Sometime touching sweet dreams can be dangerous.

She gave me a sly smile and she kissed me. She whispered in my ear. Break me and make me feel alive. I want a wild man like you. You are no saint, nor devil. I want you to get lost in me and I want to get lost in your green eyes.  She took my whiskey and took a deep drink. Her eyes were like a clear blue river and I was lost in them.

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I stood up and told her. Tonight we dance and drink at the May festival. If you still want Johnnie at the midnight hour. Maybe we can fall into the mercy of love chance.

Whims and follies are many. Wise men know the ending before the deed is done.

Coyote/John Castellenas