“I miss nothing”


I miss nothing

In and out we played. Digging deep into wanting flesh. We were cutting and bleeding for passion that need we could not fulfill or make content.

You were my Joan of Arc. Willing to die for love. We interlaced our words and minds create a delicacy of exposed and forbidden need and want.

I remember your perfect skin, your soft breasts against me and our legs twisted till the morming light.  I held you like you were just a fantasia of word and song. I remember laying in your lap and you caressed by head and you told me.

“Consequences must be paid my lover.
Two fools learning devotion and adrift in magical place.
There is no fairytale ending sweet prince. We are just renting time and space.
Chasing rainbows and believing in a lifetime of oneness.
Fool’s wishes upon dirty walls of disappointment.”

I knew you were right. You were fire and a hurricane and I was locked-in to a life of work and pain. I held you like it was our last day together. I knew the sting of disappointment. Summer left and you wandered back to Europe.

I watched you fly to Italy from the Monterey airport and I felt regret overtake me as soon as you boarded the plane.  Now I sat with the surfers. Drinking the tap beer and the tequila. My surfer friend asked me. Do you miss her?
I told him.

I miss nothing and I miss everything.
Coyote/John Castellenas

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