“Break me”


–Break me

Please break me and make me bleed. Show me I’m alive. Make me die and bring me back to life. Dead men revived know life  can be okay.

Drink of my skin and eat of my flesh and make me scream. I want to become lost in you. I have accepted the bad ending. Fairytale ending are for children.

Wear the black dress and nothing else. I want the purple-black scarfs upon your wrists and I want you sing in sweet whispers. I want nothing Johnnie and I want everything. Be mine alone. Allow the dark night for sober kisses and wild dances to expand to places. Places for the ghosts to love and kiss.

In the purgatory of life. We need to beg for things we should not have. I want you and you are my madness. Hold me tight and tell me sweet lies. Tonight I won’t die. I want to live in your kiss and embrace.

Liar kiss and embrace is still a kiss and the skin against hot skin.

Please break me down and make me beg at your feet. Allow the monster to become gentle. Blue eyes looked at me and whispered. Love cost too much. We can’t afford the payment.

–Love  showed me madness

I remember you. We feasts on the need of the body once and we didn’t care about tomorrow. Dead night held us tight and safe. We try to grind our bodies into one piece. We bleed and die many times in the cold of the Winter nights.

I use to pray for someone like you. Sometime crazy and free. Someone too wild to be held. I found you walking alone. You told me . I will be second best. I want your nights and you inside me. I don’t want heaven and  I’m swimming in shit and need to be wanted. I want us to paint the cold night with sweat, demands of flesh and you demanding and needing more. Love is cool, but is built on quicksand. If you want just enough. You won’t cry and die in love forever.

She wore lace of red upon her slender and tender body. Eyes of blue demanding attention, laying upon her bed of thick blanket and soft pillow. She whispered. Johnnie, we can kiss and part. If you take too much and you want too much. You will know great payment. Love is just a loan. Can’t be controlled or subdued. Come to me and we shall dance and find temporary peace. If you want  everything. You will fall off the cliffs of disappointment.

I did learn what the great writers had taught. You can be killed off with kisses.

–Broken promises

We went to  chartered territory and unbounded places where regret is forgotten. Where pleading, screaming and begging is accepted. You were a storm. Overtaking  my body and mind. The allure of young and perfect legs, robust breasts and beautiful face doomed me forever to seek the place of no return.

I remember you sitting in your black short dress, long legs spread wide open and tender feet moving in anticipation. You were blindfolded and awaiting for me to act. I didn’t know.  I would love you for the first time and we had no place to fall except to disappointment.

On my knee. I remember. Worshiping the softness of tender skin and tasting the saltiness of sweet feet to perfect breast and sweet lips. You told me. You are mine forever. Your home is with me.

You wore your black dress and painted your nail black. You held the whiskey tightly. You asked me why was I here? Did I come to laugh at me? I told her. I was sorry for her loss. No-one should die young. I filled  her cup with whiskey and wrapped my arms around me.

She kissed me. I accepted the kiss and I told her. We had too many broken promises. I knew you wanted too much, too late. I was foolish. Young woman undress slowly for desperate men. Desperate men want everything. Even things that can’t be owned.  I have forgiven you. I have learned. Just give enough.

She asked what do I do now? I told her. We have ashes of memories, cigarettes and the taste of whiskey. I held her for three days. She wanted more. I gave her only my embrace of safety. I have danced with the Devil once. I knew better than to dance with the devil wisps twice.

I left her for the last time. I remembered the broken promises and I remembered the nights of loving. The funny part. A tear fell. It fell for the innocent that was in the lost and found forever.
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Coyote/John Castellenas

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