I hurt myself today. I wanted to bleed real blood and I called you and I told you my love. I have forgiven you and I haven’t forgotten you. If you need me. I’m easy to be found. The tavern near your house. I’m there nightly.
I went to the Bobingen train station in early June 1979. I decide first train leaving would be my ending tonight. I had to find a new place to forget what was gone and what was left behind. The next train was going to Cologne. I bought my ticket and boarded the train. The German people were celebrating the Friday night. They were soccer fans drinking, dancing and laughing. I found me a lonely corner. Read my Jack London book “When God’s laugh” and I tried to write.
I was joined by two German girls. Big blues eyes and beautiful girls tempted by the quiet American. They were whispering in German and I surprised them when I answered in German. I’m fine. Ich brauchte eine ruhige Zeit, liebe Damen. (Just needed some quiet dear ladies). They smiled and laughed at me. They reached their hands out and I shook each one. The blond hair beauty told be her name was Anya and the brown hair beauty was named Gabriel. I told them my name was Johnnie
The girls watched my face and Anya asked. “Are you going to the Cologne Gypsy festival tonight?” I smiled and I told her. No, but now I will. I need some music and song tonight. Gabriel looked at my face like a painter. She touched my face and she asked. ‘Are you okay my new friend? You look like death done over, ten times. Tonight isn’t for sadness and if you like Johnnie. Us two German girls need an escort. Dangerous place for two girl at night in Cologne. I gave them a weak smile and I told them. I won’t be great company ladies. They laughed at me and Anya told me. “Don’t worry Johnnie. We have the cure for broken and sad heart. Some German wines and some German homemade schnapps. It will cure you or kill you.”
I smiled and I told them. Okay brave ladies and I have the Whiskey and the tequila. Thank you for the kindness. Anya sat next to me and she asked. “Read to me Johnnie.” I read a verse from Jack London’s book. “The Gods always win. Man think they are greater than the Gods. They live and steal from life. One day. They will meet God. Learn. Life was just a gift wasted by them.” Gabriel gave me a sad smile and she told me. “No sweeter place to know is love embrace. Men are foolish. Believe love is forever. Love is just precious gifts of kisses and embraces. We must love “Love” when she is near. When she is gone. Be thankful to have known.”
I laughed loud for the first time in month and I reached over and I embraced Gabriel. She kissed my cheeks and my lips. She held me tightly and she whispered. “Tonight we dance, sing and drink till the morning light Johnnie.””
Anya held my right hand tightly like a lost child till we arrived in Cologne. We could hear the music near. It was loud and so damn good. We walked into the city. We were looking for some good song and location to relax and to drink.
We found a spot near the carnival. The Gypsy music was near. Pretty Gypsy woman were dancing and the Gypsy men played the song with skill and ancient feel. Anya and Gabriel sat with me and begin to drink. The Gypsy woman dancing gave me a smile. I told them. I will give them a bottle of Jim Beam. Maybe they would play a song for me. The girls laughed and they pushed me and the whiskey toward the small Gypsy band. I got near and one of the Gypsy women dancers took my hand and she danced around me. I handed her the whiskey and she smiled and she bowed toward me. She reached over and kissed my cheek and she whispered into my ear. “You gave the best tip tonight and now we will honor you. The good gift of whiskey demand a gift of a song for you.” I told her. I want to hear one of my favorites. The song “Two guitars”. She brought my hand to her lip and she kissed my hand softly. She whispered. “Your wish is my command kind stranger.”
She went back to her band and gave the whiskey to the huge Gypsy man and he turned to me. He smiled and he bow his head to be in thanks. She whispered to the man. He gave me a large smile and he told the people near. “Today we have a fellow Gypsy with us. He requested a song of honor. The song demand dance and participation. “He went and got two guitars and the two men got up and begin to play. I went and I sat with Anya and Gabriel. My new Gypsy woman friend came to us and she made me and the girls come to the center of the music. She raised her hands to the sky and danced around us. I raised my hands to the sky with her. Anya and Gabriel were dancing and singing with the Gypsy band near me. Anya and Gabriel came near to me. Anya whispered. “I told you Johnnie. Forget yesterday and let’s dance and sing till we can’t no-more.”‘
After the song. The large Gypsy man came to us and he shook our hands. He told us. “You can join me and my sisters and brothers after. We have food and good drink. We are safe and I know you are safe. The festival is for new friendship and laughter.”
We agreed and we sat together. Anya laid her head on my shoulder and she whispered. “I told you. Time to create new dreams and better places dear Johnnie.