“Did I ever love you?”


Did I ever love you?

 

Dying,
lying,
needing,
bleeding.

 

Pretty Poet, she sang her words sweet and sadly to willing listeners at the Poetry reading in Monterey coffee shop.

 

“Love is just myth and tale,
love is lesson and pain,
love is knowing how far we can go into the deepness of willingness.
The willingness to open closed doors to yesterday pain.”

 

The red hair beauty looked at me and she whispered.

 

“Do you want misery?
If we learn to yearn for fingers, hands and kisses against willing fresh.
If we open locked doors and submit to heartfelt wishes and hope.
Is misery the final place we shall know?

 

Love demand payment,
love is costly and so damn sweet when alive and near.
Dear lover. I miss our memory.
I need our memory,
I need you near even if you are broken.”

 

She finished reading and she told the listeners. My name is Angelina. Thank you for paying attention to my words. Dear Angelina come to me and she fell into my arms and she asked. Did you find peace in Asia and Africa? You saved strangers and left me here without you. Johnnie, you love the dark places and your heart is cold. No justice or peace for a man seeking death over life. Johnnie, you can’t always get want your want. Death comes when deaths wants. Life is living, travel and testing life. Not guns, gin and sin. Without knowing love. You are dead already.

 

Sweet Angelina took me to the Monterey Bay and she released her Summer dress. She danced with the waves allowing her feet to touch the cold water of the Pacific. I watched her move with the waves. She was more beautiful than last time we met. Her free-flowing auburn hair and body moved with the dancing waves.

 

She came to me and I embraced her. She brought my hands to her breasts and she kissed me many times. She whispered the kiss and touch, lover’s doorway to love and need. We must submit to the will of love and our heart. Love is not free and very costly. Real lovers don’t demand payment. Just loan the gifts of kindness and gentleness. She turned to me and she told me.

 

No more war dear Johnnie, no more seeking proper ending. You and I. Are here near the sea. I prayed for your safe return nightly to the Pacific. Will you stay or will you go? If you loved me once. Maybe you will love me again.

 

I brought her closer and I told her.

 

Dear Angelina. Every night for a year. You were my first and last thoughts.
I dreamed of you in your Summer dress and the smell of your perfume,
I dreamed of your flowing auburn hair and you dancing at the sea,
I yearned to look into your hazel eyes and to listen to your song,
I prayed nightly. You and I.
One day, we would be by the sea once again.
I promised the desert moon and the desert sun,
I would never release you this time.

 

Two lovers waltz near the Pacific. The moon and the stars blessed them with light and hope. Love is life and life is love.
John Castellenas/Coyote

Category : poetry