Are we lovers or are we liars?


Are we lovers or are we liars?
(Written in 1993)
Once we believed in rainbows, once we made the wishing well wishes.
I remember a September Fall day in 1978, the prettiest girl I ever seen. Came to me and she told me, hello Johnnie, hello  laughing American. I have been looking for you.
I looked in the eyes of river blue and I asked her. You have found me and what will you do with me now? She smiled and she took my hands. She whispered. We must find out my loco American.
Love is a ocean storm, I learned. Youth and the Irish whiskey make us believe in the miracle of love.  You were my Fall happiness, my Winter joy and my Spring blessing.
War, life and separation killed our utopia of locked doors, cigarettes and our sweet songs. I allowed you to escape and I broke my own heart.
I remember I told you. I will love you for, forever and a day. But I didn’t know forever and a day, wasn’t enough.
Now I drink the whiskey in the morning, the whiskey had blinded me the memory of your blue eyes. I drink the tequila at noon trying to forget how beautiful you were. In the night, I drink the gin, the gin steal away the memories of our many nights of holding and loving each other.
I don’t speak the love words, no-more. Forever had become a dirty words. I asked the midnight moon, were we lovers or liars?
Now I sit alone in the dark taverns, listening to the sad jazz where men and women want little, don’t believe in much. Just strangers trying to drown in the whiskey, rum, vodka and the gin. Trying to kill the faces of people lost in time.
I called her at 3 am when the whiskey isn’t strong enough and I tell her. I still love you and I miss you. I speak the words like she was a just a dream, just myth and tale in a life going to hell.
She whispered, please Johnnie, quit drinking, please write and remember I love you still. You loved your USA and I was a German girl. We were not brave enough to stop the big sea to separate us. I told her. Good to talk to you my love and I am sorry I called you at 3 am. She laughed and she whispered. Please call me when you feel alone, you are my 3 am friend.
I hung the phone up and I told the moon and the stars. I don’t need you no-more, I have learn to need  nothing.
I told the raising sun, Forever can be a few moments in a life. But damn the memories, damn the haunting dreams of us. How do you forget the perfect days? How do you forget beautiful faces and the most wonderful days?
I asked the pretty bartender, are we lovers or liars. She smiled and she took my hands. She kissed them and she whispered to me. Dark poet, love be sweet, love be damned. Most of us are liars my friend.
                             Dancing Coyote