Love be sweet, love be damned

A letter received in 1978.
                       Dear John
Never before I felt a feeling
of being secure that much as I feel
now when I’m together with you.
You taught me how to love. getting
close without fear. After Monday
night I was your lady without being
afraid to give you this present.
If you ever feel weary and upset,
alone or angry. Write into this book
or tell me. I want to be part of you,
your home, – not only in Germany.
            I love you
          Once was you and me. We were lions. We had locked doors and burning days and nights of love. You promised to save me and I believed every word.
Now another sweet and pretty lady want to save me. I looked in her eyes of ocean blue and I told her. Don’t pray for me, baby. Please don’t whisper kind words to me. I know love can be sweet and love can be damned. I handed the pretty lady a journal and I asked her to read the first page.
She read the words slow and easy. Her eyes turn sad and she told me. 40 year poetry become meaningless. Please dear dark Poet. Hold my hands, listen to my heart. Once we known sins and lies. No perfect life.  We are foolish, we have fascination of love and forever. We will do the liar prayer often. Lovely words don’t mean kind heart.
I smiled and I laughed her words. I told her, your beautiful face and her eyes. Are a sinner hope and I’m a sinner. You make me want to dance the midnight dance and fall into the follies of the myth and tale of love. Dear pretty lady. I’m not concern with my heart. My destine heart is shadows and bleeding memories only. You are like art. So damn wonderful and precious. You need someone willing to live and die for you.
She stood her ground and she wrapped her arms around me. She whispered I will be damned and I will stay. You have befriended me and you stayed with me when I was dead and gone. I remember your words. Be brave and I’m here. I will listen to you. You are not alone. I love you so dark Poet and I will accept what is left. You and I. Leftover wine and we are still alive. You saved me and I will save you. No options tonight.
                          John Castellenas/Coyote