Once upon a time.

Once upon a time

I found you at the mall walking and  I kept an distance from you. I was just looking at a sweet dream lost. I wondered did you remember me? We were lovers once and our love wasn’t enough. For a second I remembered us. We were young and filled with dreams and hope. We twisted-up two lives for a time. I was going to save the world and you were going to because a artist and stand tall for the cause of hope and peace. I remember our long drives to the states borders touching the Michigan lines. Us staying in cheap motels, talking and making love till the morning light. Somehow we knew. Love was just a flicker of a lighter. The flame become hot very quickly and  fade away to taverns tales for drunk men.

For a second I remember your beautiful face and you whispering. I love you, I love you, I love you Johnnie. You turn to me and ran to me. Your words desperate and sad. “Johnnie, I can’t believe you are here. Where have you been?” You embraced me tightly, kissing my cheeks and lips. I told her. You are more beautiful than I remember. She laughed at my words and she whispered. “I’m older and not so beautiful no-more. Age catches up with us and the hard days steal from happy heart and soul. Johnnie, what do you do now? Last time I saw you. You were leaving for war. Writing the great novel. Did you see the world and find the Hemingway dream?”

I told her. Sweet Jenny. I did enough and I learn too late. We give-up what is truly sweet and kind too late. I saw 40 countries and found the Hemingway’s taverns and places of beauty. In the victory of the moment. I wished you were with me. I never forgot you dear Jenny.  Jenny looked sad and she asked. “If you needed and loved me. Why didn’t you come back and stay?”  I whispered. I did and you were with child and in love. I knew love is fair. You were a kind gift once and I released you for the songs, drink and the road. Dear Jenny. How are you?

Jenny looked very sad and she told me. “I had a good life. Now alone. What I thought was true love. Was 20 years of living together with a man  who never asked me about my dreams. Never danced in hidden motel rooms and he never made me laugh. I did remember you Johnnie. I wished daily to find someone who could make me dream and live, but I’m okay. I accepted less.”  I brought her close and I told her.

I became the midnight Poet and  I found children who needed me more than the road and the booze. The Hemingway dream is gone. Life had gain value. I learn we must accept what is given, but my Jenny. You are  the sweet dream. A once upon a time wish that was plundered by goals of a proud young man. Old men know. True love is rare and fair. Young men believe life is never-ending. It does end my Jenny.

Jenny eyes were filled with soft tears and she told me. “We could of been something honey. So sad we allowed fear and loneliness to make us forget. We knew love once. I learn too late too Johnnie. Love demand payment and we were too young to realize. We should of held on tightly and allowed the hurricane of life to stay away.”

We sat drinking coffee and she told me of her work and her children. Her blue eyes became more blue as she described how she became a nurse and she was okay. She told me. “I must leave you Johnnie. We must get together and drink more coffee and talk. I miss you face and your laughter.” I told her. You can find me on the midnight internet and I hope we can talk again. I wish you, joy and happiness dear Jenny.

She walked away and she broke my heart again. I knew I wouldn’t see her again. She was a sweet dream  and deadly nightmare  for my lonely night and wishes. Love splendor captive us in the darkness of a fragile life. Forgotten faces scarred our body and soul. In the end. We learn. We betrayed ourselves. I whispered to a sweet dream lost. I loved you, I loved you, I loved you Jenny.

                                    John Castellenas/Coyote