Where will this road lead us?
(Johnnie in Monterey 1992)
Where will this road lead us?..
Love has became a raging torment in my heart and mind.
I was blinded by disappointment and hate.
Love has forsaken me.
This was the love I knew.
I have tasted it,
Tasted it sweetness and
knew the fall from paradise burn the heart and soul.
I spend restless nights in one-night stands
trying to satisfy my hunger with woman
who were forsaken by love also.
I was happy reading at Poetry readings and writing my poetry by the sea alone.
I became the angry poet and
I accepted not to find my angel.
My tears had evaporated into the wind
and my heart was cold and lifeless.
I sat at the Monterey Bay.
Wondering what the mystery the sea held about love and sadness.
A beautiful young woman sat with me.
Her long black hair rolling down her back and kind smile asked.
” How are you my Poet?”
I told her I’m well and thanked her for stopping to talk.
She was so lovely.
Her soft and tender voice told me of great dreams and a life full of hope.
She gazed at me sadly.
Whispered. ” I remember when you could overflow a room with laughter.
Your poetry create tears and joy.”
I don’t answer or look at her.
I could feel her pity and
I didn’t want to see her gazing at me sadly.
I told her I was forsaken by love and don’t desire to dance again
in the game of love for awhile.
She took my hand.
Told me. ” I must learn to feel and love. Time is the only cure for a open wound.
You need to fall back into love body and soul.
The fainthearted need to be bold
and raging mad for love is what separate us
from being dead and alone.”
Her soft brown eyes I could feel looking at me..
She whispered. “I was born to love you only.
I waited till your heart had time to heal.
Love is tender, generous and can break your spirit.”
She kissed my forehead and face.
She raised me up from the sand.
Gave me a long and tender kisses.
Brought my body close to her. .
“We will see where the road will lead us my Poet.
Must open the door to love and passion.
To know you are alive.”
I walked with my hand in her hand and
the walls of fear were fading away.
I looked to the Pacific and
I did a silence prayer of thankfulness to the sea.