April


April…

(Poetry month of April. My goal. 30 new poems. Today is number one)


The April sun is in my eyes and I ain’t blue no-more. My tears have stopped and the open wound is bleeding less. I am bleeding Scottish whiskey, wandering into dead thoughts and dead places.


Once I tasted sweet and the sweetness turned bitter. I told the Pacific, the vast sea. Tell Jayne, Johnnie ain’t sad no-more. I read your old letters and the I wondered. Do we kill everything we loved?

You told me one. I was your everything and only. Maybe we are born sick? We take, we steal and we use and abuse the kindness received. I remember you told me. You have a tender heart feeling useless in the madness of the real world. Now I talk to the Johnnie Walkers whiskey alone and he is silence. The whiskey would tell me. A damn fool, is always a damned fool.


The April warm touched my face and I remembered. We never said goodbye. I allowed you to escape my madness without a wisp of a prayer. I dial my phone and you answered. Your sweet voice kind and soft and you say. Hello Johnnie, you remembered me today? I told Jayne, I had to talk to you. The quiet nights and days are leaving me reckless. I needed to hear your voice and to tell you. You were my sweetest days and I am sorry. She held silence and she told me.


Johnnie, Johnnie. We never ended, you escaped to Honduras, Africa and you forgot my name. I remember us. Since you left me last May to save the world. I stayed in college and I wished you would called me. I needed my midnight poet.


I felt the gentle April breeze against my skin and I asked her. Can I see you tonight? She held silence for a minute and she whispered. Please come to Belton. I live in the same apartment and there enough room for you on my large bed. If you come to me. Please bring your honest face and I will take care of you. Everyone bleeds. Johnnie, you can’t save a world that don’t want to be saved. I still write poetry till 3 am and I love the sangria and coke for breakfast. Please come to me. I have four days off and we can drive to the sea.


I had tears falling from my eyes and I told her. I don’t deserve you, you are my Texas miracle,  my Texas angel. I will be in Belton at 3 pm with the sangria and coke. We can wander to the sea, drink the sangria and coke watching the sun fall into the sea. Thank you my lovely Jayne. For being so kind to me, a foolish man.


Jayne held silence and she told me. Everyone need kindness and you were kind to me. You gave me everything I needed once and you made me laugh at my worst days. You told me. Go to school, be smart, pay your own bills and depend on no-one. You told me I was brilliant and special. You made me believe, I was worthwhile. Please come to me now, I am waiting and I will wear my Summer white dress that made you smile and crazy. We will find the sea and I will teach you to laugh again. I love you Johnnie.

Coyote

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