If you ever forget I love you


 If you ever forget I love you…

(Poem five for April. The poetry month)

Sober man, can’t write no more. He can’t feel no-more pain. Once he sought the greatest dreams and love was his, forever and one day. The fainting sun on a April warm day left him feeling helpless and he knew. He killed the dreams, he killed the want of love. Somehow the disappointment of life to kill the hope in his eyes, the warmth in his heart.

He drank the Scottish whiskey and he wrote into a journal. If I ever forget I loved you. Can I find the place where I dwelled in your eyes? Where we knew laughter, we knew mutual hope and dreams. I went to my dear love and I asked her. Am I okay my kind friend? I feel empty and useless.  You have been waiting for me to return and I am so thankful. Darling, love, sweetheart. You stayed with me and I know, I am the lucky one.

She kissed my face and lips. She handed me a letter written in the year 1975 and she asked me to read to her. “Dearest Julie

I am mess-up my dear Julie, war and dead brothers had killed my kindness. I am returning from war. Do you want to see me? I am less a man now. I see blood and empty dreams now. I can’t feel any kindness and I don’t want to weigh you down. You are a wonder and a blessing. I don’t want to teach you my sorrow. I would understand if you tell me to stay away. Your memory, your beautiful face had saved me and I see a stranger in the mirror now. I hope you are enjoying the days of Spring. My time in the war  will be done in June. I will return home and if you want. I will return to Ann Arbor and I would so happy to see you again. Please reply and I send my love to you.                     

Johnnie.”

Her eyes had soft tears falling and she wrapped her arms around him. She told him. I will never let you be alone. You have blessed me with good life, love and laughter. I knew you were struggling and you worked and worked. For us to know good life and healthy children. You were my  high school sweetheart and my love of my life. I will stand with you in the good days, the bad days. We just need reminders. Dear Johnnie. I told you many moons ago. Please come to me and I would keep you safe. We would overcome anything that came our way and I would stay with you till my last breathe. I loved you yesterday and I love you more today. We will fight the ghost and demons together. I brought her closer and I told her. Thank you my kindest friend, my sweetest love.

Coyote