Lovers, murderers and the damn memories…

Dear December…

The war couldn’t kill me and I returned home in 1992 and I called you. A sweet voice answered the phone and you whispered. Dear Johnnie. Please come home to me. I would love to see you.

The December cold was laying heavy on the streets of Michigan. I drove to Clinton, Michigan. Rejoicing and fearing the ending before the beginning. Sweet Jenny stole my heart once. She was a December blessing in 1986 and a March death in 1987. Sweet love turn bloody that was so damns sweet.

I looked at the signs on highway 23 and I prayed. Please Lord. Old heart need some kindness. Please don’t allow me to be foolish again. Dear Jenny answered her door in a t-sheet only, allowing me to see perfect long legs and her eyes. River blue and so damn beautiful.

Dear Jenny fell into my arms and she kissed my face and she kissed my hands. She dragged me in and we sat in the love seat. She told me. I’m a mama now and I’m studying to be a nurse. I sat holding silence, falling in love with sweet and kind voice. Falling in love with beautiful face and I told her.

My Jenny. I never forgot you. You drove me to madness once and I came today. Just to see your face once more time. You and I. Once lovers and once murderers of the kindness of love. Jenny looked sad and she told me.

Love is for the lucky dear Johnnie. I’m colder and harder today. Once I needed love and today. I know love cost too much. You should run away from me if you are wise.

I brought her closer and I whispered. Dear Jenny. I’m colder, bolder and braver. A day with you, would be a blessing and an honor. Let’s not make promises we can brake. I have 30 days here in Michigan.  I must report to Fort Ord, California in January. We can do one day at a time. Jenny smiled and she kissed me. She wrapped her arms around me and she whispered. Okay dear John.

                                   January calling…

December was fading away. I’m holding sweet Jenny near.
I loved her more than the yesterdays and I never said a words.
Dear Jenny, she was hiding her heart and just wanting someone to be with.
I knew.

Wishes and hope are just like leaves blowing in the Autumn wind. Falling down and forgotten. Love can be the sweetest words and the rusty blade cutting skin apart and cold hands. Destroying the tender heart.

We had four weeks and we shared a 1000 kisses.
She never whispered words of love but I saw in her eyes.

Jenny and I.
Once our love ending, in a train-wreck and today.
We played lovers demanding just enough.
January 1st.
I drove away and I knew.
Jenny and I.
We made amends.

And so damn funny.
Dear Jenny. I wished I told you.
You were my first love and last love.
I love you still.

                         John Castellenas/Coyote