The missing pieces- Part one

The missing pieces

A Poem by Coyote Poetry
"Fragrance of what we were do appear. I looked into the mirror. The once warrior had become the house plant. This is sad."             

                  Missing pieces….

On paper with black ink and thoughts. I try to replay the days of drunken bliss and delight. Today like a worn-out cushion. I wait for no-one. When age was my wealth. I wouldn’t ransom for soul for a few dollars and safety in old age.

Today I’m barren in hope and dreams. I try to re-kindle hope and the energy of my youth. I can’t find the pieces of what I was. When I was young. I didn’t want to get old. At 39 years, leave the tire body was my goal. Today 63 years had led me to a dead-end. I asked myself. What have you done? Did you make the world better or worst? My father fought in war. He saw many good friends die. He drank himself to a early  death. The booze and the war slowly killed him. I went to war. I hate war now.  Like my father. I stood by gravestones of good friends and held regret only. Did I do anything for the cause of peace and calm?

I wonder if old men must swim in remorse and black memory?  Today I go forward for my kids and grandchildren. I walk on a delicate balance. Once I was going to save the world. Today I’m trying to save myself. I wonder when the kids don’t need me. What will be left?

The missing pieces cannot be found. I’m ragged and tired. I wrote a 100,000 words for peace. I did my best. I’m not searching for heaven. Heaven is for the angels among us. I didn’t desire to be forgiven. I believe we must pay for all sins. Better to had lived a good life than keep repenting for actions done without no concern.

Today I sit alone with coffee and thoughts. I will keep living. I won’t dwell in the mistakes of the past. Maybe my words can expand. “This is One people and one planet.” The earth is getting smaller. We must work together. Send medicine, food and water. Open the doors to peace.

Gun and bombs don’t care if you are white or black. Brown or red. People who speak of nuclear war. They don’t understand. The lucky one’s will die quickly. The people near will die a terrible death. A 160 mile kill zone in the end. Brother peace and Sister love is rarely spoke. Words of hate and war are spoken without thoughts. I wonder do the leaders of our world understand.     

 When the war is far away. You cannot feel the pain and suffering of the great cities and the poor people in the way of war. The war will find you. If you accept war as a norm. Do you want your child to be standing with rifle in hand in faraway places dying for people who don’t want our help? If you sell or give guns to countries in revolution. You are part of the murder and killing. Countries who sell gun to terrorist and countries in turmoil.  

Are we helping or a big part of the problem? USA spend 20 percent of budget on war. They is no war. USA gave away close to 40 billion dollars in guns and bullets away for free to countries who are struggling. To create havoc and kill. I pray for better days. I pray for the sake of children everywhere in the world. Peace, peace my friend, the sweetest words we can speak. War, enough of war. Allowed the kids to grow-up without blood and fear. 

                                         Coyote/John Castellenas